A Trip to Big Lots
Recently, I visited Big Lots , the shoddier, seedier cousin of the sadly departed K-Mart and elephant graveyard where discontinued merchandise goes to die. There I found freakish goods hailing from a variety of lands, and each revoltingly unappetizing in its own diverse fashion. Here's a sampling: Oysters in Cottonseed Oil -- because nothing piques one's culinary delight quite like grayish fish flesh tinned in industrial lubricant. Lemon Extract -- With 20% Vaseline added to reduce viscosity Del Monte DILL -- Far too pale and estranged from their state of origin to serve such a function, at least these DILLS know the value of education and plan to attend jr. college. Nutrisystem Nourish -- Eat oxymoron dogs, on the cheap! Maggi Delicias de Pollo -- Or as I affectionately call it, bagga chickin maggit stuff. Arkona Herring Fillets - As Opus knows, a little paprika sauce makes herring "pop." Jelly Mints -- Hated at Grandma's house since 1853. Conclusion? Bi...