I Am At Walmart


Appropos of the ubiquitous holiday of the prevailing belief system at the current temporal moment, here is a not-awaited, hardly polished, non-genius parody of The Beatles' "I Am the Walrus" -- I AM AT WALMART.

Lyrics:

I Am At Walmart
Begun July 24, 2011, finished Decemberish 2011.

Daddy, mama, cousins, auntie, me and you and grandma shop together.
See how they whine for everything that shines, see how they whine.
Kids crying.


Sitting by the cornflakes, waiting for the man to come.
Exploded jar of pickles, don’t go in ‘til Tuesday.
Otherwise you want to kill and lines are much too long.
I just want eggs, man, but I’ll spend a hundred.
I am at Walmart. Stuffed kangaroos.

Rent A Cop Policeman sitting
Driving his golf cart past the cars in rows.
See carts fly, dinging cars, then guy in orange vest runs.
Kids crying, kids cryyyyyying. Kids crying. Kids cryyyy.

Yellow squishy filling, glistening in apple pie.
Cheap crab legs, hey fish man, gimme 13 ounces
Before man behind me says, Girl, you just skipped in line.
I just want eggs, man, but I’ll spend a hundred.
I am at Walmart. two three skidoo.

Strolling past the aisles of cookies, trying not to buy
Damn fig newtons, or the chocolate chip ones
Winking elves catch my eye.
I just want eggs, man, but I’ll spend a hundred.
I am at Walmart. Mylar balloons, my mylar balloons.

Outdoor breakroom, choking smokers
Don’t you think the cashier laughs at you?
‘Cross the laser window beeps your Astroglide
See how it slides.
Kids crying.

Semolina noodles, nine pound bag of flour
Cheap box wine, tortillas and of course Velveeta
Rush around but when ya go to pay, time, it slows.
I just want eggs, man, but I’ll spend a hundred.
I am at Walmart.
Checkoutcheckoutcheckout checkout

Comments

Unknown said…
Magnificent. You have grasped the spirit of the times; this will live in infamy. Love it!
6:25 PM
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