Walgreens Cashier Turns Into Commercial


SCENE: Standing in line at Walgreen's with a Take Five candy bar and a box of Garnier Nutrisse Hair Color, Macadamia #90, in my hands, behind a lady who had only a magazine.

PLAYERS: Cashier, The Lady In Front of Me, Me

(As the scene opens, Cashier rings up the magazine...)

CASHIER: Ok, one magazine (patronizingly)... Can I interest you in a Snickers bar today?

TLIFOM: Umm, well ok, I guess. I'm going to the hospital. (She takes 3 Snickers bars from the Cashier.)

CASHIER: Great, because when you're hungry, why wait?

ME: (stifled, unbelieving snickers) (not the candy bar, the giggles)

CASHIER: (eyes me with slightly slitted eyes, addresses TLIFOM) Thank you, come back.

CASHIER: (to me) Hi, how's it going? (rings up candy bar and hair color) Can I interest you in a Snickers bar today?

ME: No.

--------------------------

"We are now accepting callers for these beautiful pendant keychains."
-- J. McCrea, et. al.

Comments

Zen Wizard said…
*Sigh*

Clearly, the all-powerful Mars family has gotten to this Walgreen agent. Their tentacles are long and powerful.

But what truly motivates a Walgreen's agent to "upsell" product?

If I could harness that motivational power and use it on my OWN employees i could rule the worl...well, maybe not rule the world, but I could keep my job a little longer.
8:35 PM
V said…
**NOTE** YES I DID DAMN DO THAT BRILLIANT ARTWORK!

Zen: I had no clue, either. Maybe the manager was putting the screws to him to unload the last box of about-to-expire Snickers bars? I doubt he was getting a commission and even if he was, it would only be pennies, right? Maybe he was doing it as a dadaist statement on America and its obsession with convenience foods... but somehow that feels like I'm reading too much in.
10:13 PM
lynnee said…
walgreens requires front cashiers to push certain product each month.. the cashier will receive a small premium for each one sold.. ex 5 cents per candy bar... many times there is a contest between stores and the mgr really really pushes. .. or maybe a contest between cashiers
9:34 AM
Anonymous said…
Suggestive retailing at its finest.
12:40 PM
Todd Camplin said…
I thought that art work was a David Bates.
4:58 PM
BrideOfPorkins said…
I love your artistic rendering of the cashier, you captured the essence of a Tim perfectly.

Oh man...our grocery store is being turned into a Walgreen's...I almost want to go in there so they can ask me if I want a Snickers bar.

...I think we've got Snickers bars downstairs. brb.
7:16 PM
V said…
Lynnee: Good to know!

LBB: Indeed. I hate suggestive selling. I always think of Jack Black on that Tenacious D record: "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY ORDER!"

Todd: Ha! Thank you. I am merely a Paint Dilettante.

BoP: Thanks! Doing those silly scribbles in Paint is always more fun than I remember. I do like Snickers, I was just already good for candy that day.
2:51 PM
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