Didja ever?
Didja ever...
...get fired after one day of being a shitty telemarketer by a manager with B.O.?
...hide all the knives in the house so you wouldn't be killed in the night by someone you were sitting for?
...rend your own flesh asunder by gnawing?
...wrestle a hulking autistic girl to keep her from banging her head repeatedly on the wall?
...somersault gently from a crushed hulk of a vehicle into the warm, summer Arkansas grass?
...walk home, stoned and alone?
...get a whole barful of drunk college kids rocking out to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me," then kiss a stranger upon leaving the stage?
...tramp through a Louisiana cornfield where bits of hay eerily whirled high into the air and where bears had recently been seen?
...spend most of an autumn day reading in an old horse trailer?
...listen to a schizophrenic grandma argue with people you can't see?
...start a paper cup fight of epic proportions at a now-defunct outdoor music festival?
...confiscate $600.00 cash from a kindergartener?
...trip on your home-sewn formal gown while crossing a stage at your high school boyfriend's prom?
...tell off, and nearly mace, a carful of high school boys?
...get ridiculed by a bunch of immature flautists?
...meet David Coverdale of Whitesnake, oblivious to how seductively he is saying "Hello, dear" in his deep-voiced British accent to your 15 year old self?
Well, didja??
...get fired after one day of being a shitty telemarketer by a manager with B.O.?
...hide all the knives in the house so you wouldn't be killed in the night by someone you were sitting for?
...rend your own flesh asunder by gnawing?
...wrestle a hulking autistic girl to keep her from banging her head repeatedly on the wall?
...somersault gently from a crushed hulk of a vehicle into the warm, summer Arkansas grass?
...walk home, stoned and alone?
...get a whole barful of drunk college kids rocking out to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me," then kiss a stranger upon leaving the stage?
...tramp through a Louisiana cornfield where bits of hay eerily whirled high into the air and where bears had recently been seen?
...spend most of an autumn day reading in an old horse trailer?
...listen to a schizophrenic grandma argue with people you can't see?
...start a paper cup fight of epic proportions at a now-defunct outdoor music festival?
...confiscate $600.00 cash from a kindergartener?
...trip on your home-sewn formal gown while crossing a stage at your high school boyfriend's prom?
...tell off, and nearly mace, a carful of high school boys?
...get ridiculed by a bunch of immature flautists?
...meet David Coverdale of Whitesnake, oblivious to how seductively he is saying "Hello, dear" in his deep-voiced British accent to your 15 year old self?
Well, didja??
Comments
I forgot to mention the salient fact to this post, which is:
I have.
2) No
3) Yes, if you count hangnails
4) No
5) No
6) Shhh... Yeah, many times.
7) Replace bar with BBQ, def leppard with scorpions, pour some sugar on me with "rock you like a hurricane"
8)Not in Louisiana, but in the park next to my parent's house.
9) No
10) I've listened to my senile granma mention about conversations with me that never happened.
11) No
12) No
13) No
14) Sort of but I'm guessing the cirumstances were different than yours.
15)No...
16) No, thankfully
Rock You Like A Hurricane will do nicely, Trevor. :)
Have I said too much? Oh, probably. Damn white wine.
But, as far as David Coverdale is concerned, you probably got off easy. After all, he's put it to Tawny Kittaen. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that leads to is waking up with some kind of mutant talking herpe.
Oh and Lance, can I borrow those Abysss Monkeys?
That's probably good, Aza, 'cause most of these activities I wouldn't recommend.
And I think Lance is scared that the Wicked Witch o' the West will find out he's subcontracting the flying abyss monkeys.
I am genuinely happy for you, Trevor. I hope you love them! I'm waiting for the third Rabbit book to arrive from some fly-by-night bookery off Amazon.com. In the meantime, I'm reading Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club), which is sick and twisted, even way beyond the film.
As for the rest, get out of my head!
didja ever stand around in a room talking with people while two other people openly had sex with each other?
didja ever have sex just because you were bored and had nothing else to do?
didja ever have sex 5 times in one day, and then stop because you were bored and wanted to do something else for a change?
didja ever bring your dog when you went over someone's house to have sex?