SPS

I have invented a new marketing tool for cellphones. Observe:

Living with a roommate/s?

Do you have sexual relations?

Do they?

Then you need SPS:
the Sexual Positioning System!
Use this state of art device to alert your housing compadre
to your or his/her sexual needs for the space
ASAP!
Never listen to your roommate's partner's dirty "skank calls" again!
Order SPS now and be assured of a disturbance-free
New Year's eve ass-gittin'!
SPS: Position yourself to score!

Comments

Lance Manion said…
"SPS - Position yourself to score!"

I like it. Beats the hell out of a sock on the door.
9:20 AM
V said…
Maybe you could even set optional ringtones for, uh, various "events" ...
10:49 PM
Azathoth100 said…
Heheheheh. I like it. compyright it now while you can before some corporate goober gets his hands on it.
4:51 PM
Dave Morris said…
I would be over my minutes way too fast.
10:43 AM
V said…
No prob, LBB. The good news: no credit check! There is a $500 deposit payable to AriIndustries due first though.

That brings up a good question, Aza. Is a dated post on a blog a copyright of sorts? Would it hold up in court?

I bet that's not even an exaggeration on your part, Dave. :)
5:52 PM
Troy Camplin said…
We just make our roommate suffer through our having sex 2-3 times a day. :-)
12:57 PM
V said…
Yep, you need to be a charter member of SPS, Dr. T. :)
12:05 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Very Sad News

Hi everyone, Because friends share in good things and bad and this is important to me, I thought you all might like to know. My mom, who had been battling many health problems, especially during the past few years, passed away Friday night. She was not a perfect person, but her love for me was. I figure if you want to know more, you'll ask. But if I don't seem quite myself for awhile, that's why. Thanks.
Read more

The Sock Monkey Project

Image
Recently, due to Arctic Blast 2007 (i.e. a quarter-inch of sleet upon these Dallas roadways), a much-anticipated night of drinking, fooling around and Sopranos was nixed. Did I sulk? Well, hell yes, I did. And then I did some more. But after that, pouting began to bore me and I hit upon a mission: I was gonna make a goddamn sock monkey. Why the flip did this occur to me? Well, I'd talked it up for many years, seeing as how my grandmother gave me one when I was six or seven and it was subsequently so cherished and frequently hugged that the tail developed a hole at the end. As it turns out, my friends listen to me on occasion, so I was gifted with this kit at Christmastime this year. Though my original hosiery simian was far more tricked out than this one, with a red gingham dress and hat that had lace trim, this nostalgia-fueled, red felt vested ape would do nicely on a blustery, pissy winter's night . Besides, the original mon-chi-chi was lost. Generally speaking, I'm n
Read more

Two Years

Two years I've been writing this. Two years. Most of you and I have known each other for most of that span. Why is it so hard to believe, the constant flow of time? -------------------------------- Reality is a question of perspective; the further you get from the past, the more concrete and plausible it seems -- but as you approach the present, it inevitably seems incredible. -- Salman Rushdie
Read more