Scald Pockets
Don't say you weren't warned: Lean Pockets can kill. Well, ok, I don't know that for sure. But they can give you SECOND DEGREE BURNS. TO THE FACE. How do I know, you may ask? Well, there I was, wolfing down an apple with the remaining 15 task-free minutes of my lunch while waiting for my main course to cook. Unbeknownst to me as I grabbed the barbecue-style Lean Pocket from the microwave, it had attained a temperature near that of molten magma.
Bites one and two did no harm. However, with bite three, I had just gotten too close to the hellish core. A searing strip of meat and barbecue sauce trailed out of the cocoon of crust and promptly stuck to my chin, sizzling flesh as it adhered. "Ow. OW!" I exclaimed, trying to brush it off. But it was too late.
Later I was stunned to discover that yes, there was in fact a BLISTER where the fiery meat had stuck. And now I am reminded daily of the potential danger of microwaved foods as I wait for a vertical, vaguely meat-strip-shaped slash of red to heal.
Be careful out there.
Bites one and two did no harm. However, with bite three, I had just gotten too close to the hellish core. A searing strip of meat and barbecue sauce trailed out of the cocoon of crust and promptly stuck to my chin, sizzling flesh as it adhered. "Ow. OW!" I exclaimed, trying to brush it off. But it was too late.
Later I was stunned to discover that yes, there was in fact a BLISTER where the fiery meat had stuck. And now I am reminded daily of the potential danger of microwaved foods as I wait for a vertical, vaguely meat-strip-shaped slash of red to heal.
Be careful out there.
Comments
When I was in my early 20's, I lived off of lean pockets for about a year and a half. Then one day, my body just said "Hey, no more. You put any more of those in me, I'm going to hurt you." Now I can't even stand the smell of them.
A week of burn cream and colloidal silver ointment does wonders for facial disfigurement.
Now I just need to find a miracle cure for fatness... :)