Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Walgreens Cashier Turns Into Commercial


SCENE: Standing in line at Walgreen's with a Take Five candy bar and a box of Garnier Nutrisse Hair Color, Macadamia #90, in my hands, behind a lady who had only a magazine.

PLAYERS: Cashier, The Lady In Front of Me, Me

(As the scene opens, Cashier rings up the magazine...)

CASHIER: Ok, one magazine (patronizingly)... Can I interest you in a Snickers bar today?

TLIFOM: Umm, well ok, I guess. I'm going to the hospital. (She takes 3 Snickers bars from the Cashier.)

CASHIER: Great, because when you're hungry, why wait?

ME: (stifled, unbelieving snickers) (not the candy bar, the giggles)

CASHIER: (eyes me with slightly slitted eyes, addresses TLIFOM) Thank you, come back.

CASHIER: (to me) Hi, how's it going? (rings up candy bar and hair color) Can I interest you in a Snickers bar today?

ME: No.

--------------------------

"We are now accepting callers for these beautiful pendant keychains."
-- J. McCrea, et. al.

7 comments:

Zen Wizard said...

*Sigh*

Clearly, the all-powerful Mars family has gotten to this Walgreen agent. Their tentacles are long and powerful.

But what truly motivates a Walgreen's agent to "upsell" product?

If I could harness that motivational power and use it on my OWN employees i could rule the worl...well, maybe not rule the world, but I could keep my job a little longer.

Ari said...

**NOTE** YES I DID DAMN DO THAT BRILLIANT ARTWORK!

Zen: I had no clue, either. Maybe the manager was putting the screws to him to unload the last box of about-to-expire Snickers bars? I doubt he was getting a commission and even if he was, it would only be pennies, right? Maybe he was doing it as a dadaist statement on America and its obsession with convenience foods... but somehow that feels like I'm reading too much in.

lynnee said...

walgreens requires front cashiers to push certain product each month.. the cashier will receive a small premium for each one sold.. ex 5 cents per candy bar... many times there is a contest between stores and the mgr really really pushes. .. or maybe a contest between cashiers

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Suggestive retailing at its finest.

Todd Camplin said...

I thought that art work was a David Bates.

BrideOfPorkins said...

I love your artistic rendering of the cashier, you captured the essence of a Tim perfectly.

Oh man...our grocery store is being turned into a Walgreen's...I almost want to go in there so they can ask me if I want a Snickers bar.

...I think we've got Snickers bars downstairs. brb.

Ari said...

Lynnee: Good to know!

LBB: Indeed. I hate suggestive selling. I always think of Jack Black on that Tenacious D record: "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY ORDER!"

Todd: Ha! Thank you. I am merely a Paint Dilettante.

BoP: Thanks! Doing those silly scribbles in Paint is always more fun than I remember. I do like Snickers, I was just already good for candy that day.

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