Friday, October 05, 2007

Weirdass Recipe the Third














The origins of this unholy, calorie-laden concoction go back twenty years or more, to the kitchen of my aunt, where my cousin was inspired by the ghost of William Howard Taft or somebody to mix two incredibly rich substances: peanut butter and syrup. Whether anyone else does this, I don't know.

Today's version was somewhat halfass in it's pantry-product indulgence, because rather than Skippy peanut butter and Griffin's Waffle Syrup,
I had to use Simply Jif (reduced fat) and Karo, hardcore corn fructose confection of our grandmothers and a pillar of all true Texan pecan pies (which I didn't even like until this past year). Anyway, here's the recipe, if you and your pancreas can handle the deliciousness:

1. Purchase, then slam a can of cheapass white biscuits across the kitchen counter a few times until it pops, remove and bake according to the directions on the package (spend no more than 40 cents per can).
2. Put about 2 tablespoons of peanut butter into a bowl.
3. Drizzle syrup over the top of the blob of peanut butter until it runs down the sides of the blob and pools slightly in the bottom of the bowl.
4. Stir, stir, stir!
5. Taste, adding more syrup if needed. Ideally, the finished dressing? hors d'oeuvre? dipping sauce? will possess a glossy sheen.
6. For added culinary delight, pour yourself a frosty glass of milk. I prefer mine over ice.
7. Dip biscuits and eat, one delicious, supersweet bite at a time, as death draws nigh.

Thus have I relayed these instructions from antiquity as I witnessed them.
Go thou, and experience the white trashy goodness.

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dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot
dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot
-- "Cristalle", Paul Van Dyk

16 comments:

Ari said...

UPDATE: It has spread.

http://www.peanutbutterlovers.com/recipes/maple_syrup.html

Amandarama said...

Can I get an Amen? Probably. After I'm done with the dentist.

Can I use Log Cabin syrup? It's what I have in the house right now.

Ari said...

Amanda: Definitely! Enjoy!

random moments said...

Noooooooooooooooo!!!! I will never look at your blog again!! (Or at least until I'm off WeightWatchers.)

*crickets*




*sniff*




I'm going to the store after work...

Trevor Record said...

Actually, I don't think it sounds weird at all.. I think it sounds pretty tasty!

Ari said...

RM: Yeah, how many points IS a big ol' bowl of peanut butter and syrup dipped in white biscuits?

Trevor: I'm glad! Give it a whirl!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Say, that sounds delicioso!

Ari said...

LBB: Give it a try on donuts and report back.

Camplin said...

gravy makes everything better. every time i add it to my paintings, it at least doubles the value.

Azathoth100 said...

Good lord, but that could kill a man! You want my intestines to explode?

Ari said...

Camplin: Gravy -- a study in putrefaction on canvas.....

Aza: That's the POINT. :)

MONA said...

I guess that will be a Delicious dessert, more for the WAY it is cooked. I do not mean the recipe I mean the method...[slamming & popping etc]:D

Violet said...

you know, that at first glance made me wince, but now that i'm thinking about it, it sounds pretty darn good. i like the touch of the biscuits... if i eat this, i'm blaming it on the pregnancy.

Ari said...

Mona: I RELISH slamming that biscuit tube across the counter.

Violet: You and Baby Morris will like it! :)

Dave Morris said...

If I eat this, I am blaming it on the pregnancy. (hey, why can't the guy use it as an excuse???)

It reminds me of the cafeteria peanut-butter sammich they used to serve at school, except they made it with corn syrup.

Ari said...

Dave: We used to get pb sammiches at my day care too, but it was p-nut butta and jelly mixed together. Kinda gross, kinda good.

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