Saturday, July 14, 2007

Maybe is Baby

So, upon entering the local Chinese food buffet, I determined that I had to GO.

As I rushed into the restroom, a horrid stench wafted out.

Against all olfactory sense, I still had to GO, so unto the breach I proceeded, holding a piece of shirt over mouth and nose to enable me to survive.

Someone else entered as I did, but apparently didn't have to GO like I did, and I said casually, "Wow, we should tell them at the front desk about this." As I was checking each stall, I noted that in one, someone had... missed the shot they'd attempted to take, let's say. It had bounced off the rim. Then they'd tried to clean it up... they just didn't do a very good job.

Slightly horrified, I recoiled, and chose another stall. When I gotta GO, I gotta GO.

Anyway, in the meantime, the management had been notified. A tiny, older Asian woman dressed in business attire appeared in the restroom door, exclaiming, "Oh my GAAAAWD!!" as she opened it, then shouting in Chinese to her unluckiest employee to get the mop and bucket. She wouldn't come inside, but stood there continuing to make little noises about the stink. About the same time, I came out and as rapidly as possible, washed my hands, and prepared to push past her without a thought of even drying them.

I kind of laughed, suggesting, "Maybe it was from a baby or a kid or something..." but as I looked at her in the mirror, her words said, "Yeah. Maybe is baby."

Her eyes, however, stated clearly that she rather suspected it was me.

4 comments:

Amandarama said...

I hate when the toilets in a public place are so gross as to be unusable. It is a toilet, people. Not a Slip 'n Slide. Fluids go on the inside.

Trevor Record said...

Oh, gross. Too bad you had the blame for it piled on you. You know, we've got to get to work on an easier, more sanitary alternative to our current digestive system.

Wigwam Jones said...

I am very sorry to hear of your predicament. That could not have been very much fun. It was a funny story, though!

I like to answer such accusing stares with a stare of my own, punctuated with "Yeah, maybe it was me. I crapped a Pontiac. Sucks to be you, eh?"

Ari said...

Meeee too, Amanda. But I still had to GO.

I concur, Trevor. Being a human being is just all around gross at both ends.

If ONLY I had thought of that, Wiggy.

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