Wednesday, September 27, 2006
CVS is wrong for that
Why it's still embarrassing to purchase products of a feminine nature after 20 years experience, I don't know, but sometimes it is.
I decide I don't want to navigate the perilous waters of Wal-Mart, so I'll stop at the drugstore (as it used to be called in the parlance of my youth), even though I KNOW a guy will be working the counter at 9:30 p.m.
I'm perusing the products, looking for my preferred species, and a Whitman's candy display is there on the end of the aisle, sparking a train of thoughts: "What the fuck is that doing there? Oh, no wonder I couldn't find it the last time I was looking for a last-minute gift -- it's here in this fucked up place, what kind of layout is that?"
Then it hit me: "WHOA, it's there because duhhhhh, it's the most expensive chocolate in the store and it's right here next to the pads and tampons!"
Stunned at this sexist display, I continue to shop, looking for other shit to buy to distract from my feminine needs purchase. I become aware of a bitchy, bossy fat girl (who may have been hosting Aunt Flo herself) being followed by her whoopt-ass boyfriend, ergo:
BBFC: (sassy drawl) You got my chips?
BBFC: You gonna get my Coke?
WAB: Yeahyeahyeahyeah,I,Ijustdidn'twannacarryitaroundallatimeI'mgonnagobackandgit itdamn!
Tired of being circled by those two, I head for the checkout. Of course, I was right about the cashier -- not only a guy, but the conscripted photo lab tech who is not likely jaded to people's purchases yet and probably still notices things like level of absorbency (gee, suffer from social anxiety disorder much, Ari?) I do note that he has a Christian fish ring and as I stand there swiping my card and completely avoiding eye contact, I hope that his Christian feeling extends to women who are bravely soldiering on in the face of excessive blood pouring from their extremities.
By the way, I don't know why the girl is in the picture is boycotting. Clearly, CVS is wrong in their misogynistic juxtaposition of period care products and pricey chocolates, but I'm over it. Now I'm off to download some Black Sabbath and some DC Talk from itunes at the same time just to see what happens.
"In the garage, where I belong, no one hears me sing this song."
-- R. Cuomo