Indeterminate number of things about me

In the grand tradition of many other blogs, I have decided to do one of those "100 things" things. This project commenced during a work training class. However, my brain activity slowed to autonomic functions only for a time, and I didn't quite reach 100, owing to using all my remaining faculties to stave off a boredom-induced torpor. Now, on to the things!!

1. I firmly believe that Meat Loaf rocks. AND, as if that wasn't enough, he's from Dallas, too.

2. I think humans and animals are similar in more ways than commonly suspected. Ditto children and adults.
3. I detest wastes of my time more with each passing moment of my dwindling life.
4. I am over 30, but under 40.
5. Oft times, I do as little as possible.
6. Not too long ago, I nearly got into a fistfight with a brusque, heavyweight cashier woman because I refused to change checkout lanes from express to a regular lane midpurchase. Because I'm heavyweight and brusque too, it might have been a comical battle to watch.
7. I still remember her name.

8. I believe in reincarnation, but I don't think you necessarily have to return to this sector of the multiverse next go round.
9. I average 1 speeding ticket per year.
10. I have taken defensive driving at least 5 times, and have thrown hundreds of dollars down the municipal toilet.
11. I still speed.

12. I am a native Texan.
13. I once worked for AOL as an entertainment writer, and I still have some reviews up online.
14. I piss away money on serial speeding offenses while pretending it doesn't matter, yet I won't pay more than $2.99 for a 12-pack of Coke.
15. My love of country music and all things cowboy (including slight habits of demeanor in certain men I find sexy) has increased dramatically in recent years.
16. I mentally keep score. For example, if I've been working a lot of overtime, I don't feel bad calling in sick one day, because I'm ahead. But if I came in late last week, I'm behind, so I can't. It's all about give and take, see?
17. In the world at large, I am above average in geekness (IQ, computer knowledge, D&D games played, number of fantasy novels read), but among people I know, I'm at the low end of the spectrum.

18. I sing in my car.
19. I can do a believable British accent.
20. I'm a pseudo-Buddhist.
21. I think that sometimes, there's nothing for it but another vodka cherry sour.
22. The more I drink, the more I sing.
23. I am a no class, deep down fool. And I will always be that way. No wait, file that under things about Rivers Cuomo.
24. I waver between snobbery and vulgarity a good deal of the time.
25. Last month, I turned my hair green. It was supposed to be Ash Blonde. This took an entire day to fix. AND I had a date that night. So in hair color box-speak, ash = green.
26. Even though my mom is a beautician, I cut my own hair.
27. I would relish the opportunity to live as a rock star for 1 week, especially if it involved a sexual encounter with Trent Reznor.

28. My love of all songs Radiohead has increased in the past month ("there are 2 colours in my head").
29. I cannot eat fewer than 4 Keebler Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies at a time.

30. I have had to leave the room when an old person was speaking before, because something about their way of speaking sometimes cracks me up a LOT.
31. I've been camping alone before, in Broken Bow, Oklahoma.
32. While there, I almost stepped on a water moccasin.

33. I have never mastered the art of the pullup.
34. I once wrote a shitty song.
35. I have sung "Closing Time" as the karaoke bar was closing on more than one occasion.

That's quite enough for now, I think. Thanks for reading! :)


Ari said…
P.S. You didn't think a man named Meat Loaf could be sexy did you? Just look at him up there... sexy! ;)
Latigo Flint said…
I have spent many a night seething with great envy of Ed Norton for his man-boob hugging scenes in Fight Club with Mr. Loaf.

(Um, I actually didn't mean to say that out loud just then.)
Lance Manion said…
M. Loaf is a god among men. But only when collaborating with Jim Steinman. Ah, the sheer overwhelming orchestralness of it all. Plus I've met him and he's a genuinely cool guy.

On an unrelated note, now I miss my old D&D basic rules set.

Wow, that was a great list.

Entertainment writer for AOL? That sounds like a hella-cool job. Why'd you leave? Did you get in on the 1990s dot-com boom?
defiant goddess said…
I just read your entire blog. It was hilarious and I truly enjoy the way you express yourself. PLEASE accept my apologies for "blowing up" your inbox with my replies to your posts.

May I PLEASE add you to my links?
Ari said…
Latigo, doubtless Norton and Loaf both attended the Manboob Non-Gay Hugging Academy here in town. Now that you mention him, Norton's pretty ass-kickin' his own damn self.

Lance, with a name such as yours, it would be criminal not to play some kinda rpg at some point. ;)

LBB, it WAS hella cool. I got mergered away with the Time Warner thing (which I've since read in numerous articles in finance publications was one of the dumbest business deals EVER).

I actually did lots of other fun things for them too, which I won't go into here for fear of tears at the missing paychecks shorting out my keyboard.

And please, Goddess, blow up my inbox ANYTIME. I appreciate your attention to my drivel more than you can possibly know. Every kind word is another point added to my self-worth score. :)

And for the record, ANYONE can link me ANYTIME! Love, hate, I can handle it. It's indifference that chaps my hide.

Quick, go out and tell 2 friends so they can tell 2 friends and so on!!
defiant goddess said…
Done, ladyfriend. Thanks!
kristi said…
Don't forget the shitty movie you wrote.
8ZERO8 said…
That D&D book brought back memories.
Azathoth said…
Meatloaf ROCKS! and There's nothing wrong with D&D. I love the list, will you be going all the way to 100 in a future post?
Ari said…
K, Shitty movie? Oh yeah, that one.

808, then that stolen jpg has fulfilled its destiny.

Azathoth, yes. I shall. Stay tuned for a revelation of a bizarre meeting of my Deadwood/Meat Loaf obsessions.
I, too, try to do as little as possible, am a native Texan, and enjoy speeding. I like the fact that you put pictures in; it is a visually pleasing as well as humorous post.

Props, many props!
kristi said…
Wow, I sounded bitchy in a moment when I wasn't being one. I think I should ahve said... remember the shitty movie that WE wrote. Though if we could get Greenlight involved and recast it, we'd sweep Sundance. Or at least get some laughs while hanging in the hot tubs with Smith, Mews and ... uhm ... (dare I say it)... Diesel.
Jessica said…
You wrote a song? You must post it!
themadamefiles said…
27,28, and 29!!
I am up there with those 100%!!!
Ari said…
Much obliged, Sarah G&W.

Do not confuse "bitchiness" with the cold, hard truth, K. The movie WAS shitty. Never mind that many films surpassing it in crapness have already been churned out (Harold/Kumar/White Castle thing, as an example). That's what kicks my ass, not that I wrote something shitty, but that others MADE something SHITTIER.

Can't Jess, as it has no words, was written on a Commodore 64 like computer for a music class, and has been lost to history. Thank your stars, trust me.

De nada, Madame X. :)

Popular posts from this blog

Chihuahua Canticle

111 Wussiest Songs of All Time

Zappadan Adventure