Overthunk

Whereas... A = Driving two hours across town to a moderately important, though brain killingly dull, work function, being late and being turned away due to one's frazzled inability to manage simple Mapquest directions and "thinking" one has the cognitive capacity to find "a faster way," B = Bloating up like a bullfrog doing whippets, and; C = Being moved to tears by "needing a man in my life who loves puppies and makes cakes like that fine Brawny paper towel guy" or the minor annoyances such as the lack of ketchup... A + B + C = P Dig?

Hey, listen. I went all over the town, nay, THREE towns, looking for that wrinkle-concealing, chunky gold necklace that my mother wanted for her birthday. At Macy's, they only had a buncha tacky chunky bead strings and some wisp-thin silver chains, plus a store-brand marcasite encrusted $20.00 watch that I carried around for awhile, possibly arousing the suspicion of the security guards, before unceremoniously replacing it on the tiered table created specifically for Low-End Emergency Gift Jewelry at the finer department stores. So I went down to Nordstrom's and everything there was widely spaced and affluent enough that I felt white-trashy in just my black low cut shirt (revealing the pinkish, dwindling remains of a between-boob-blemish) and nondescript black shorts, but still I found nothing I deemed to her liking. Can I help it if on the way out of there I dropped in to Payless and found some 1 1/2 inch brown leather heels that fit and that were comfortable and coordinated w...

Main Entry: ad·dic·tion -- noun 1 : the quality or state of being addicted 2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol, or raising digital fish) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful (such as staying up until 3 a.m. tending digitized virtua-osteichthyes until your eyes feel like the gravel at the bottom of the tank). It all started with a tipoff from here . I played this damn fishycrack for about 7 days for free, and then I forked the $20 over for the full version and now I'm waist deep in this muthafucka with a 2 to 3 hour a day habit. I have found 5 of the magic fish. 6 and 7 await, and I SHALL FIND THEM. O YES.

I'm starting a band. There have to be some other people over 30 who want to slant towards the dream as death edges ever closer.

if drivin' down the road with your left arm hangin' out into the blisterin' Texas sun, eatin' cherries and spittin' the pits out the window just to watch 'em fly, singing along to Dwight Yoakam and swipin' the final "g" off ever danged word makes you a hick... then I'm guilty.

Yep, today I went to buy dog food and make some copies at the local shopping center, and I saw this. I was gonna take a picture with my camera phone, but I thought better of it. I'd give better odds than not that this Bubba had a gun rack in his back window. I wonder if was a "You must be as tall as the catalytic converter to drive this truck" sticker anywhere on this thing when he bought it... (Yes, I made that picture. It was fun.)