Sunday, January 08, 2012

Unvarnish It

Can we all make a pact to stop telling little white lies that everyone can see through as well as a freshly Windexed pane of newly minted window glass, and on the flip side of that, to stop getting angry when people tell the unvarnished truth?

Don't say, "I can't do that because I emailed my boss (on a Sunday) and I heard back (within moments) and they won't let me miss that day OR have someone else take over for me OR ask someone else to do my work temporarily, AND I may get fired if I miss even five minutes of work (not true because I know the company you work for and its policies)."

Do say, "When I realized that the thing I volunteered to help with would require greater than zero effort on my part, I felt oppressed by an ever-increasing sense of the mandatory. Therefore, I'd like to not do it, please."

Don't say, "I don't care. Where do you want to eat?"

Do say, "While I realize that my saying so may not create infinite harmony, I, for my part, would like Chinese. Make of that what you will, but please, consider that I am, and have been for three weeks, rather eggroll deficient."

Don't say, "I'm sorry, I'm ill."

Do say, "I regret that my personal tolerance for a family gathering has reached its monthly limit. I'll see you at some future time, but don't expect me in the next 30 days, at least."

Don't say, "Oh, I forgot my wallet."

Do say, well in advance, "Regrettably, I need to borrow $20 to make this happen. Your donation, should you choose to make it, would be much appreciated, and I will neither rest peacefully nor sleep dreamlessly until it is repaid."

Don't say, "There's loads of traffic. I shall be late."

Do say, "Hormonal and/or digestive human bodily functions and/or their cleanup have delayed me. If you haven't met with troublesome versions of these, you one day will. Cut me some slack, my good woman/man."

Don't say, "                                                "

Do say, "Even though you are the only you in the universe, and clearly quite acceptable and even wondrous, something about the bubbling of the evolutionarily and/or deitically ordered cocktail in my brainpan doesn't quite heat to my liking when you and I interact in specific gobs of spacetime. Let's seek others."

We don't have to be cruel, or overly blunt. We just have to be honest, and realize that we all want out of things or have unpleasant needs from time to time.  Though we may, for a time, feel a bit dizzy from the fumes of truthfulness, what will ultimately result is cleaner, more aesthetically, morally, and emotionally pleasing future, free of the underlying stink of bullshit. Let's open the windows and get to scrubbing.

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"You ask 'em, 'Where's my motor?' 
'Well, it was eaten by snakes.' "

-- Frank Zappa




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