Sunday, August 10, 2008

Thanks. I never noticed.



Yesterday I was attending a women's expo. I was dressed nicely, in a fuschia Lane Bryant work top, ruched at strategic points, with cute, short black skirt. I even had my dollar store hair clip updo rocking, and was hustling and bustling around in a couple of different capacities, professional and personal.

As I re-enter the exhibit hall, an Asian lady at the acupuncture booth forces the pictured flyer into my hand, though I was walking at a speed calculated to deter flyers being given to me.

A bit later, I was looking around at a jewelry booth, and saw some bracelets that I thought my (thin) sister would like. The saleslady quickly pointed out the extended size bracelets to me, though, in case the regular sized ones didn't fit (which generally, they do).

People who aren't fat do not have any clue how persistent, how pervasive, the consciousness of your own size is in the life of people who are. I suppose I should forgive them for that, as well as their bold attempts to help me solve my problem. At least my most deep-seated failing is visible, however, and that is in some measure honest.

What's yours, thin people?

p.s. I later went roller skating for two hours at my niece's birthday party, far beyond many people who were half my size. So that's gotta count for something.

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"Nobody's fault but mine." - Page, Plant, et. al.

9 comments:

Darrell said...

From a fat guy in Virginia, thanks for putting this into words. You're right, a lot of the time it seems like skinny people think it's their job to somehow break it to me that I'm a huge fat bastard. No need. I deal with it every day. It's my own fault, yadda yadda yadda, but it's certainly not something I can ignore away.

Ari said...

Darrell: Amongst all the emphasis on thinness in our culture, lies my rebellious soul. Sure, I should probably get gastric bypass, but sometimes I just don't give a fuck. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Zen Wizard said...

Having been fat, thin, and incredibly in shape in the same lifetime; I would have to agree that it is AMAZING what a difference it makes. I mean, the brain stays the same, but it is incredible the difference in the way people react to you.

There was this woman who worked next door who was HUGE and then got her stomach stapled. She ended up HOTT.

She quit in an instant. I'm just sayin'....

Heff said...

If you're comfortable in your own skin, don't worry about it. If you worry about it, Do something about it.

BrideOfPorkins said...

Ach, flyer-people are evil. No clue that the world doesn't actually revolve around them. :P People stick demolition flyers in our gate. What is that about?

My mum and Nan always tell me about the days when people would come up to them concerned that they were too thin. Now...not so much. Now they tell me I look too thin--which is totally a by-product of my hernia. Trying to explain to people that I have a hernia and not anorexia is always fun.

Sod the annoying people, your outfit sounded cool.

Todd Camplin said...

When I was 'to thin' they told me to eat more, when I ate more they told me I was to big. My parents called me bones and my brother fats, you can image that yes, I am still smaller than my brother. Don't get me wrong, my parents were generally good but that one thing kind of was a really bad thing. It set us into a mode that was expected of us. Now that I have a little meat on my bones, my father tells me that he is going to start calling me fat bones. I hope this doesn't set me on that mode of thinking. Maybe I am to old to fall into that trap, that is what I will tell myself.

Axe Victim said...

I'm currently going through an "I'm waaay to fat to go n TV" phase. Trouble is, I couldn't' give a shit. But that's the problem. I really ought to care a bit more about it because I am sick of buying new clothes all of the time. When I was slim I was a cocky bastard. I like me more as a fat bloke, but my wife hates it. Ho hum...

The Unseen One said...

How about the idiot hostess who tries to stuff us in a tiny booth? Hate that.

Ari said...

************
WARNING: MISANTHROPIC RANTS BELOW
************

ZW: Don't I know it. "Such a pretty face" -- the bane of my existence. How about "what a magnificent vocabulary" instead!?

H: Most days I don't worry too much, but some days I have it pointed out to me. :) In retrospect, I think that outfit was bad. And I am too fat as well.

BoP: Right! This whine could easily come from a thin person... my question to these people is WHY does it fucking matter to YOU what MY body size is? We all have prob lems, and it's not like I'm a circus sideshow (although I guess that's relative; however I never have problems dating, socializing or even getting compliments on how I look). Thanks for shoving it in my face, you know? If you want to pity me, do it and keep silent.

TC: To tell how my family weighed in (ha ha) on my issues would take many (boring) weeks.

LBB: I get your point, but I feel fine until people start being rude to me. Then I get the urge to start pointing out their faults -- the flyer lady was dressed in a frumpy outfit she could have easily worn thirty years ago, and the jewelry lady made a foolish assumption that her overpriced shit was for me, costing her the sale, and neither of them could have entered a beauty contest. Should I have pointed those faults out? I'm really good at noticing what's fucked up about people, and I don't say it to them. Instead I blog about it -- no one's the wiser, and no feelings get hurt. When it boils down to it, you can't tell anyone anything anyway. I did not rush down to a weight loss meeting that night, nor any night since. It's up to ME, making it MY business, and MY problem. This "concern" doesn't help. That's all I'm saying.


AV: I know... if I only gave more of a shit. And I think fat blokes are kinda cute. ;)

U: It's rarely an issue, but if I think it will be, I just tell them where I'd like to sit. :)

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