Sunday, December 10, 2006


(English Title: Meat My Blade)

On the potentially dismal occasion of my 36th trip round the sun, I visited a Brazilian churrascaria. If you haven't been to one, it's a magical place where you first take a stellar trip around the salad bar, which is really a buffalo mozzarella/kalamata olives/proscuitto/steamed asparagus/marinated mushrooms and more bar, then are whisked back to your table to delight in what you found there for a few moments while sucking down caipirinhas (a.k.a. Brazilian margaritas).
Next, enter the intricate communication system in place akin to the sign language used by Drasnian spies, in the form of a circular card, one for each person at the table. One side of the card is red, the other, green. Flip that red card to green and wait. Within seconds, a fleet of smartly dressed, hot, Latin gauchos descends upon you, each bearing a rod of steaming, delicious meat for your consumption. Each meets your eyes as you communicate your most intimate carnal desires: Oh yes! Spicy sirloin! Ahh, filet mignon!! Most of the time you get a just-right portion of meat slid skillfully onto your plate; sometimes you have to use tools to assist in the process. If you don't want a particular cut, you dismiss the offering gaucho with a word (much simpler than with a failed third date).
While my arteries are probably not happy for this meat-fest, and vegetarians would surely be offended, I think all in all a trip to the churrascaria is enough to remind me what life should be like: delicious meat from hot guys when you want it, peace, salad, cheesy bread and flan when you don't.


The Unseen One said...

Ah, nothing like a good Brazillian Rodezio. One of the things I quite enjoyed pre-gut-carve.

Steven Novak said...

You useage of the word "meat-fest" turned me on. ;)


Azathoth said...

OMG it sounds like Heaven! Why don't they have these here in CT?

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Your last paragraph was profound.

Violet said...

I've never been to a Brazilian style restaurant, but Dave has told me about this great one in Memphis. There is not one in the area here but I hope to go to one someday.

Happy Birthday!

Ari said...

Unseen is back! Yeah, I don't do it that much but it is fun. Thankfully I can't pack away nearly as much as I did in the past.

I'm thinking it's not that hard to turn you on, Steve... but yeah, I admit, that was sort of the point of this.

But Aza, they do!

Thanks, LBB. It sounded LBB-inspired, now that I look at it. :)

You and Dave should road trip. And don't forget the caipirhins! Thanks for the bday wishes.

Gary said...

I have been to those a couple of times and I totally agree. They are wonderful. I would love to go to one in South America.

Trevor Record said...

I am sort of a vegetarian and all, so I can't say this sounds particularly appetizing, but I can't say I am offended. The fact that there are people out there that eat meat is not news to me.

Ari, I have read the belgariad as well, I think it was one of the only fantasy series I enjoyed as a kid. But the Malloreon dragged on a little in my mind. Too predictable!

I think I enjoyed the characters the most, though.

Ari said...

Me too, Gary! I wonder how authentic the U.S. places are?

I agree, Trevor, I only read the first series and a bit of the second, then I left off for other books.

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