first date

it has been so long
oh, how I wanted to come up to your place for some "coffee"
but I knew that if I did
being a slave to sensuality
and my appetites
and nothing like self-controlled
i would just sit on the couch
lean in
ask you to kiss that certain place

20 minutes later
be doing the deed
your hands touching me all over

you know
THE deed
and the only thing that saves me from such a fate
is having a rule

so I have a rule
no hoeing on the first date
not with a long-handled garden tool
nor with any other appendages

because I think it's fair
to make you work just a little harder
for your journey to the center of the earth
for your rendezvous with the fertile garden of femininity
for your returning back to where it's safe and warm


Latigo Flint said…
I only do THE deed on prime number dates. Most girls are completely confused by date number 10 and positively hate me by 18.
Wigwam Jones said…
Now there's a Monday morning wakeup call.
Steven Novak said…
Journey to the center of the earth...

I like that.

Hey, I like that.
Vicki said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vicki said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ari said…
I love the prime number theory. It would be particularly cool if you were dating a mathematician, to see if they caught on. Another advantage of the PNT: it clears me to hit it on date two!

I certainly hope you weren't reading this drivel in a workplace, Wiggy! ;)

Well, Steve, occasionally I try to dust off the old edumacation and reach for something deeper. That's not what happened here, though. I just tossed this one off half-buzzed on a Saturday night.

Thanks, LBB. Your praise is no small thing.
Ari said…
Props to Latty for the PNT. Forgot the shout-out bit above.
Violet said…
"so I have a rule.
no hoeing on a first date"


I have the same rule!
Ari said…
Rules are good sometimes, Violet. :) Sometimes I go home though and think, "Why didn't I break that just this once?"

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