Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Rampant irrationality, anyone?


This weekend there's a rock show going down at a festival that's being held in Corpus Christi.

And just because it's an eight hour drive, or a $275.00 plane ticket and a hurricane passed through there a few days ago, none of my friends want to go.

It's clear that no one loves rock 'n' roll like I do.

Perhaps, despite my absence at their bacchanalia, I will appease the gods of rock with the fervor of my pouting.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Boss Hatred

Lately I've been taken with the notion of writing songs. I don't know why. I love songs. I write poems. But I really never considered combining the two until recently.

So the other day I was sitting in yet another boring work training trying to pen some boss-hatin' song lyrics while appearing to be diligently taking notes, when I realized that Fred Durst had already expressed my feelings far more eloquently than I could.

While I was penning weakass stuff, Limp Bizkit had already captured my emotional state in the classic "Break Stuff":

Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked, Everybody sux
You don't really know why
But you wanna justify Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!

Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit Lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit talkin that shit (Punk, so come and get it)

Its just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
Damn right I'm a maniac
You better watch your back
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
And if your stuck up You just lucked up
Next in line to get fucked up
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
Its just one of those days!!

I know, I know.

Teachers aren't supposed to feel this way. But you just have to know my situation. This guy once told us on the morning announcements to bring food for a lunch that was being held that day at noon. He once told us that there are "two kinds of bitches" at a faculty meeting. Whenever he talks or tells one of his 4 anecdotes, I have to bite the inside of my lip or dig fingernails into my leg to keep myself from standing up and screaming, "WE KNOW!!! or I GOT THE E-MAIL!!! or YOU ALREADY TOLD US THAT STORY!!!"

Grrrr. Fuckin' grrrr, I say.

So instead of writing the song I just sped home at an unsafe speed, spewing foul, unladylike rap-metal out my Toyota's windows.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

This is either a Word to the Wise...

or just a Note To Self:




Don't shoot tequila while doing this.
Just don't, alright?

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Everybody has one, here's mine.


Four years ago at this time, I was riding shotgun in a speeding truck with a chica of mine. She's from Texas too, but was living in DC then. I was jobless and there for a visit. When I'd bought the return ticket, I had a choice of a 10 am or 5 pm flight out on September 11. I didn't feel like I'd want to get up that early, so I picked the evening flight.

That morning, another chica of ours had called us up, telling us to turn on the news. The phone call woke us up and we were sure it was a joke. The first thing I saw when I woke up that morning was the smoking Pentagon. The next thing I did after picking my jaw up off the floor was start packing. She did too.

There was no discussion or planning. We knew what we had to do: get back to Texas.

We didn't know what was going to happen, we didn't know if there were ground troops, we didn't know if there would be roadblocks, but we did know that we were going to make it back to where that Lone Star was flying or die in the attempt.

By the next day we were kissing the soil of the Republic.

Don't hate me because my fortune cookie came true.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I just finished Lord Vishnu's Love Handles


so maybe that's why I had a weirdass dream in which I was doing like a one woman improvisational show. In my dream, I was creating an impromptu sketch, and I was Eve (of the "Adam and" variety) and I was playing the part like Eve was a dippy broad and the apple was some kind of unmissable shoe sale type deal that had to be seen and done (eaten). And I kept having Adam dudes come up and try to have their way while I was doing the sketch. And the end of the sketch, I took the apple and took a huge bite, and it went "CRUNCH!" and the audience (who seemed to be mostly older women) gasped audibly. And then both the dream and the show ended simultaneously.

So it was kind of brilliant, if I had a script. Perhaps I should write one.

Oh yeah, LVLH comes in because in it, there's a guy with Adam and Eve entertwined in a tattoo on his arm. And it's a nifty book from which a movie is being made.

And, not being a current events commentator, I have nothing of value to say about New Orleans, except that I am proud to live in a town and a state where everyone I know has done something to help. Keep those folks in your prayers -- the victims and the heroes. Their garden met the flood, and we have to be that dove on the high place.

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Be the dove

Eve picture

Lord Vishnu's Love Handles

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