Monday, July 04, 2005
Seven Petty Wishes
Wait, not that Petty.
Forget that unattainable red herring, world peace, and that impossible mackerel, harmony amongst the peoples.
Gimme seven petty wishes instead.
1. That I'd never spill red salsa or spaghetti sauce on a white shirt again.
2. That I'd never break off the cork in the wine.
3. That I'd never see someone I either a) already know, or b) would like to get to know ;)
whilst dressed in a slobtastic fashion, i.e. during a "fertilizer 'n' Roundup run" to Home Depot in the middle of yardwork.
4. That I'd never have to go potty in the middle of a movie again.
5. That all my garments would be forever wrinkle-free, sans ironing.
6. That I'd never get home with a corn dog and no mustard in the frickin' bag.
7. That my lawn would stay magically hydrated, in accord with local rainfall, and in compliance with city water-saving ordinances.
What're y'all's petty wishes?
Tell 1, tell 7 or tell 70. I promise to read them all.
(Do you suppose Tom Petty could grant them? Richard Petty? I oughta write somepetty a letter and see.)
"You've got to bleed a little while you sing / Lest the words don't mean a thing." -- The Cult