Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Tonight's TV Viewing

Allllright, I'm going to sound like a prude and I'm really not at ALL but what's with the inappropriate sexual overtones in seemingly inane food commercials?
1. Chunky Soup -- FILLS YOU UP RIGHT
Watch beefy footballmen cavort as they talk about "soup."
As a sage named Robert Plant used to say, "I'm gonna give you every inch of my spoon, I'm gonna give you my... broth!!" Or something like that.
Take an already sexually sketchy Fountains of Wayne song and pair it with images of a cadre of post-soccer-game adolescent males lusting for a refreshing beverage (or for Stacy's mom, dressed in pert yellow and teasing them with the slow-roll open of the minivan door, revealing icy DP goodness waiting just inside. (Yes, pun intended, thanks for asking.)
Either someone didn't get it, or someone very much did.
However, these pseudooffensive food peddlings only interrupted the flow of the main focus of tonight's TV viewing, Jaws 2. My pug, by the way, makes an excellent Jaws 2, as he can definitely lurk below an innocently swimming squeaky mouse, and then lunge upward for sudden destruction. I may call him Jaws 2 for the next few days, in fact.
Favorite quote I made up and said aloud while watching: "Whose idea was it to wear butt roasts for shoes? That was a really dumb idea!!!!" AND it had dumb-teens-become-shark-food-in-short-order-fu (fu provided by John Bloom, once again).
I hope some of this served to amuse you or have you challenge your position on important moral questions of morality in food advertising. But I couldn't go to bed until I'd writ it.
It did, in fact, amuse me.
But then I've had a couple of drinks.


Jessica said...

I completely know what you mean. I had to babysit some little kids one night, and a sleazy car ad came on TV and i had to horror of trying to make-up a explaination of the sex joke :~

Anyway, they were only four to six year olds, so they figure it out for a while.

Julie said...

I have a hippie chick friend who only buys PBR beer b/c of their lack of using womens sexuality to cell beer.

dv8flow said...

Best comment i ever heard on this issue was
brought to you by Bill Hicks.
The n°1 promotor of 'diet-coke'.

Julie said...

What about all those tampon commercials, I mean, jeesh, they are embarssing as an adult and they used to mortify me as a teenager. Hell, I still feel a little embarassed buying them, but that is my own issue.
There was one commercial this summer about the gal having one and was able to stop a leak in her man's boat.. that is a little funny though.
Right now those commericials about the huns running out when you pull out a charge card really drive me nuts.

Ari said...

Oh, I hate the credit card huns too... I'd like to send in some of my own huns or mafia operatives into a few credit card HQs though. :) Damn the 18% interest!

dv8flow said...


The Unseen One said...

And lets not forget the drug overtones in commercials. Especially those damn radio commercials for Ovaltine! Those kids screaming with undue energy... "HEY, BILLY'S MOM IS SERVING OVALTINE HOT!!!" "I LOVE OVALTINE HOT!!! LET'S GO!!!!!" Sounds like they are strung out. I picture a bunch of crazed looking kids charging into Billy's house like a bunch of vikings at a football game after someone pulled out a credit card. ;) Then afterwards they scream in unison "MORE OVALTINE HOT!!!" I think CPS should visit Billy's mom.

Jaws 2: Electric Boogaloo. BTW, any sequal made that pales in comparison to the first is automatically dubbed "Electric Boogaloo". Most notably was Blade 2: Electric Boogaloo.


And what the HELL is up with those pop-up ads on web sites for the toenail fungus? GAG!!! Not only do they show some nasty-assed infected toenail, but they then LIFT IT UP! OW!!! Like nails on a chalkboard or chewing on aluminum foil!

Ari said...

LOL, yeah, I hate those 2, NH. Besides, I don't think any kid willingly drinks Ovaltine. I think it's what's left for chocolate milk when the Hershey's runs out. :)

And I don't even want to address the topic of fungus amongus popups... I may hurl just kinda thinking near that ickiness.

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