1. Chunky Soup -- FILLS YOU UP RIGHT
Watch beefy footballmen cavort as they talk about "soup."
As a sage named Robert Plant used to say, "I'm gonna give you every inch of my spoon, I'm gonna give you my... broth!!" Or something like that.
2. Dr. Pepper -- STACY'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON
Take an already sexually sketchy Fountains of Wayne song and pair it with images of a cadre of post-soccer-game adolescent males lusting for a refreshing beverage (or for Stacy's mom, dressed in pert yellow and teasing them with the slow-roll open of the minivan door, revealing icy DP goodness waiting just inside. (Yes, pun intended, thanks for asking.)
Either someone didn't get it, or someone very much did.
However, these pseudooffensive food peddlings only interrupted the flow of the main focus of tonight's TV viewing, Jaws 2. My pug, by the way, makes an excellent Jaws 2, as he can definitely lurk below an innocently swimming squeaky mouse, and then lunge upward for sudden destruction. I may call him Jaws 2 for the next few days, in fact.
Favorite quote I made up and said aloud while watching: "Whose idea was it to wear butt roasts for shoes? That was a really dumb idea!!!!" AND it had dumb-teens-become-shark-food-in-short-order-fu (fu provided by John Bloom, once again).
I hope some of this served to amuse you or have you challenge your position on important moral questions of morality in food advertising. But I couldn't go to bed until I'd writ it.
It did, in fact, amuse me.
But then I've had a couple of drinks.