Great Catch Blues

.

What does it matter that you are a fish of great quality, if no one's fishing?

But then again, maybe that's an apt metaphor... maybe in the net, I'd be suffocated, trapped.

But maybe, on the other fin, I'd be happier swimming in my own little pond than here in the big wide ocean.
Anyway, now for some damned-helpful tips for you small fry.

What not to do in the great game of Plenty O' Fish In The Sea:

1) Have blackly regretful thoughts about the past, to which there is no returning, while the future just keeps on bearing down on you like Obi Wan on Anakin.
2) Try to "keep up" with people you once dated, as they may be tracking your IP address.
3) Write blogposts that are just lame fishing metaphors, drawing even more lamely upon your lack of meaningful posts (repeated quiz postings).

Ahem. Now back to our regularly scheduled pseudo-hilarity.

Comments

Bourgeois Dave said…
Sound advice, Ari. Definately guilty of 1, and lord help me if I become guilty of 2 or 3.
10:37 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Very Sad News

Hi everyone, Because friends share in good things and bad and this is important to me, I thought you all might like to know. My mom, who had been battling many health problems, especially during the past few years, passed away Friday night. She was not a perfect person, but her love for me was. I figure if you want to know more, you'll ask. But if I don't seem quite myself for awhile, that's why. Thanks.
Read more

Unintentionally Arty Photo

Image
While I was thinking about making a post about people who plaster their faces on billboards, I snapped this photo near downtown with my new camera phone. Though many might be pissed at the poor quality of the photo, it was taken at some distance, and I rather liked how it turned out. You can still make out the Big Brother-like face of the realTOR (yet another irritant -- those commercials touting realTORs) on the sign. He works them there M streets. He isn't all that attractive. So why plaster your face 25 feet high for all to recoil at? Is it gaining or losing you customers? I'd bet on the latter. There's another one of this guy, ESPN radio host Randy Galloway, a round the corner from my house. I get a shock every time I round the bend and see it. Geeg. It's got to be ego-driven. There's no other good reason. And if I can't paint my garage door magenta, why in blazes is this allowed?
Read more

Shredding, Slamming Fun

Image
Yeah, I'm closer to 40 than 14, but that doesn't mean I can't pretend to be in that band I always wanted to be in. And no, I can't play the guitar for real, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the tar out of this game. In fact, that's the whole POINT. The second version of this Playstation 2 diversion, called Guitar Hero as you can see here, just came out, but I'm too busy woodshedding on a borrowed version of the first one to care about that yet. At first, I sucked so thoroughly the game kicked me out of the song and the crowd booed. Yet now, I can successfully hit 80-96% of the notes on average of tunes ranging from Boston's "More Than A Feeling" to Audioslave's "Cochise." The cool thing is, songs you don't even like much and dismiss as crap, you get new respect for when you try to play them. You also learn how Nikki Sixx must have felt when his fingers and forearms ached from the amount of rockin' he was doing, but
Read more