Thursday, April 14, 2005


This one goes out to the ones I've fucked.

This one goes out to the sex I've left behind.

A simple cock... to "occupy" my "time,"

This one goes out to the ones I've fucked.

(based on a true story)

Say, readership, got any other change-em-up lyrics?


Anonymous said...

"All through the night," sung to the tune of "Wanted:Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi:

It's all the same, only the faces change
Everyday it seems I'm wasting away
Another place where the (feline) ain't so bold
I ride all night still I get real cold

I'm a gigolo, and with a steel (male chicken) I ride
And I'll ride you, All through the night, All through the night

Sometimes its weak,
Sometimes it's up for days
The (feline) I meet
I just spread it its seperate ways
Sometimes you tell the days by the (feline) that you eat
Sometimes when you're alone you just sit and beat your meat


Still I walk these streets
With some condoms in my pack
I play for keeps cause I might not get it back
I've been everywhere still I'm "standing tall"
I've seen a million (felines) and I've (copulated) them all!

(repeat till fade)

Written when I was in middle school around 1986 or so, whenever the damn song came out.

Ari said...

How can I have missed that reworking of such a classic?

Though I have to say, I was in high school when that song came out. :(

And, to bring up another lyric, who are you? Who, who? Who, who?

Tiamat said...

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
Downtown in the ghetto
and I'm so tired I can't feel
The freak at the Firestone
Won't leave me alone
And a hailstorm is coming for real
You picked a fine time to leave me
loose wheel...

Lame I know, but short notice. More to come.

The G-man said...

Catchy lyrics. So, do we get to hear the true story the lyrics are based on?

Julie said...

Wow, what creativity!!
I thought my 'solid as a cock' instead of rock to the bob seger song was really cute. But this stuff is great!!
who is this anonymous song post-er?

Ari said...

Julie, I think the anonymous person may be some feller I've been chatting with on okcupid or some such, but I'm not sure. :)

Ari said...

Tia, that one hits a little too close to home. I should've jerked away my credit card when it got time to pay the way that jerk jerked my keys away... how come I always think of the thing to do too late? :)

Ari said...

Hmm, G-Man.

There are a lot of true stories upon which this is based, but most recently it just amounts to a modicum of frustration at having short-term, sex-based relationships rather than something a tad more substantial.

Anonymous said...

And don't forget the Bangle's I am Your Penis

Anonymous said...

Well, if by chatting Ari means sending a message and then not replying, then yes I am that man.... Think I was a freshman in high school when I came up with that one, a friend and I used to do that all the time. (In fact, except for our t-shirts being an Apple Computer T-Shirt and an Infocom T-shirt (With my favorite slogan, "A Dirty mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste" from the classic "Leather Goddesses of Phobos"(Nested parenthesis!)), we were a fair imitation of Beavis and Butthead long before it became popular.)
Oh, and speaking of Bangles tunes, we also had "Walk like an erection" but never really did the words, because we would do the "erection dance" by putting our arms to our sides and bouncing up and down in a stiff manner faster and faster until we'd spit and fall over limp. Ahh, high school, full of innocence, frivolity, and an endless stream of crude sexual and scatological humor (no wonder I never got laid).

Ok, gotta run for now, keep the good times rollin'

- Sly Fingersmythe

Anonymous said...

OK, nevermind about the rude nagging comment Ari, apparently Cingular doesn't work well with Hotmail for retrieving stuff. So there, I can admit I'm wrong. Now gimme a cookie, dagnabbit!

- Sly Fingersmythe

Ari said...

Hmm, Sly. That is indeed appalling. :)

Ari said...

And no cookies!

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